A Husband's Fertility Story

by Hadley
(Carribean)

We had tried unsuccessfully for about one year to have our second baby. My wife, who was 40 at the time (as was I), had been in contact with Amelia and the two of them had formed quite a bond. Amelia was very thorough and systematic in her approach. While her advice may be based on Chinese medicine and Eastern philosophy, Amelia takes quite a scientific look at infertility and she and my wife charted many aspects of my wife’s health. It was a true corroboration and a friendship and trust were built.

As we lived far from family and Rhode Island, they communicated often and almost entirely by email and telephone calls. Then my wife was going to visit Rhode Island and Amelia…and Amelia wanted me to come.

I think of myself as a typical guy in many ways. I spend a lot of time working, often at the expense of my health. I was not in terrible shape but nobody was envious of me when I took my shirt off at the beach either. My fertility numbers were actual good and Amelia thought if we could ramp them up a bit, then we could really increase our pregnancy chances. It seemed logical. I headed to RI to meet Amelia and to have my numbers checked again.

Amelia seemed quite nice and she spent at least three hours with us, reviewing our fertility numbers, lifestyle and concerns and then helping us to focus on changes we could make. Amelia suggested that I give up alcohol and caffeine and take a rather fulsome load of vitamins and herbs. I started to panic…I’m nobody’s drunk but I like alcohol and figured an overwhelming majority of us have been conceived when our parents were drinking. The negotiations commenced. I offered to give up caffeine quickly (even though I was a two to three cup a day drinker) and was okay with the vitamins. But the booze? Amelia mentioned that my wife had put in a tremendous effort thus far and thought it best that we maximize our chances. I looked over at my wife and began to realize that if I kept the booze, I may lose the sex. I relented – no more alcohol.

As it turned out, my fertility numbers were not so great. So I focused on the task at hand (pardon the pun) and really made a change in my lifestyle. No caffeine, no alcohol, workouts four to five days a week and a daily intake of numerous vitamins. To be honest, none of it was that bad and I never had a desire to waiver. I was confident I could change my fertility numbers quickly because my previous lifestyle was not too healthy.

My wife and I decided to skip trying to get pregnant in the first month and instead undergo an herbal cleanse. We were giving ourselves three months to get as healthy as possible before we would go to NYC for an IVF cycle. Then one morning during this first month my wife awoke, told me she had had a dream and that we should try at once. Reluctantly, I agreed (read that last sentence with due sarcasm). As I write this, we are 22 weeks pregnant with our second child.

We are eternally grateful for having met Amelia. She was a mentor, coach, fan and friend. She helped give us the gift of life – what can be more fantastic than that? And by the way, I’m still off caffeine and am back to enjoying a few adult beverages now and then.

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